Failing with Respect: How Couples Can Amicably Manage a Separation

As NPR News reports (https://www.npr.org/2026/07/07/nx-s1-5877797/end-marriage-good-terms-divorce), Karen McNenny, author of a new book on divorce, does not view the separation of spouses as a defeat or weapon, but as a tool that can be used consciously and respectfully. Her approach focuses on protecting the family and the mental health of all involved.

Divorce as a Conscious Decision

McNenny emphasizes that many couples experience divorce as an emotional state of emergency marked by conflict and hurt. However, a separation can also be understood as an opportunity to improve the life situation for everyone involved. It is important that couples clarify their expectations and goals beforehand and see divorce not as a battle but as a process of reorientation.

The Role of Divorce Coaches

Professional divorce coaches like McNenny support couples in managing the separation constructively. They help keep communication channels open, defuse conflicts, and find joint solutions—such as in the division of assets or the care of shared children. This can not only reduce emotional stress but also avoid lengthy and costly court proceedings.

Impact on Children and Family

A central concern is the protection of children. Studies show that amicable divorces, where parents treat each other with respect, significantly reduce the psychological burden on children. McNenny advises parents not to carry out their conflicts in front of the children and to make clear agreements together that provide stability and security.

Focus on Mental Health

The author points out that divorces are often associated with fears, guilt, and grief. A conscious handling of these feelings and, if necessary, professional support can help maintain mental health. Divorce should not be seen as a personal failure but as a step toward a new phase of life.

Why This Perspective Matters

At a time when divorce rates are high worldwide, McNenny’s approach offers valuable guidance. It shows that separations do not have to be destructive but can also be managed respectfully and constructively. This has positive effects on those involved and society as a whole, as fewer conflicts and burdens arise.

Karen McNenny’s insights invite us to rethink divorce—as a process that can be shaped with empathy, clarity, and mutual respect to ensure the long-term well-being of all involved.